The Point of No Return
by annied01
Summary: When her mother had heard about the job opening at the Opera House in France, Lily had jumped at the opportunity to spend the summer working there. She had said it was because she needed the money, but it was really to get some space from the boys who both wanted her undivided attention. / Harry PotterXPhantom of the Opera / QLFC Season 3, Round 12. Oneshot.


_It's only half past the point of no return_ _  
_ _The tip of the iceberg, the sun before the burn_ _  
_ _The thunder before the lightning and the breath before the phrase_ _  
_ _"Have you ever felt this way?"_

Lily had only taken the job because she needed the money. At least, that's what she told herself every other day. It was definitely _not_ just an excuse to get away from all of the drama at school. The fact that the job took her to France was just a welcome coincidence.

It was the summer before her seventh year, and for the first time Lily was glad to have a break from Hogwarts. Sure, she missed the castle and the magic, but she was sick of being caught up between Severus and James.

She and Severus had been friends since they were children. James, however, had been an arrogant idiot for the first five and a half years of their acquaintance. No matter what some people might think, first impressions _did_ matter, and even if James had been perfectly lovely for the past few months, it didn't make up for all of the hurt and anger he caused her before.

At least, that's what Severus was trying to tell her. Personally, Lily wasn't quite so sure.

Lily wanted to be happy being friends with both of them, but she wasn't blind. She could see that neither of them was interested in a platonic relationship. She had to choose, and whichever decision she made would effectively end one friendship. And all three of them knew it.

When her mother had heard about the job opening at the Opera House in France, Lily had jumped at the opportunity to spend the summer working there. She had said it was because she needed the money, but Lily knew – and her parents suspected – that it was really to get some space from the boys who both wanted her undivided attention.

Lily had left England without a word to either of the boys, so she was surprised when she received a letter from each of them. Severus' read:

 _Dearest Lily_

 _I cannot believe it! Had I not heard directly from MacDonald, I might have accepted it as false. You, none less than my dearest friend, abandoning me for the whole summer? This is a travesty! A betrayal!_

 _All joking aside, I shall sorely miss your company this Summer. However, I wish you all the best in France. Do try to enjoy yourself – we have a tough year ahead of us (although perhaps it will be easier with a companion such as I by your side)._

 _If you are available, I'd be honoured if you would attend my mother's birthday dinner with me on August 30_ _th_ _._

 _Speak soon,_

 _Severus._

Lily half-smiled, half-grimaced at the letter. She knew she had made the right decision when she forgave Severus for what he called his 'lapse' in Fifth Year, but if she were honest with herself, he was _different_ now—a bit too clingy, as if he feared that at any moment Lily might realise she'd made a mistake. As if he was treading on thin ice.

She was about to open James' letter when the door opened and the opera house diva, Christine Daae, trudged in. Lily dropped the unopened letter and scurried into the corner of the room, busying herself with brushing away the cobwebs.

"You dropped—is this from your _boyfriend_?" Christine asked suddenly, and Lily spun around to face her. Christine was holding up the letter, staring at Lily with admiration and jealousy in her eyes.

"What?" Lily asked. "No, that's just my friend. James."

Christine looked down at the letter, then back up at Lily. "He seems to think he's your boyfriend," she said before putting the letter down and heading off toward her dressing room.

Lily walked over and picked up the letter.

 _Beautiful Flower of Mine,_

 _This summer is dull without you, my dear. The sky is less blue, the trees are less green, the birds are less tuneful. I cannot wait until Septemper 1_ _st_ _, when I shall see you again. Unless you would care to come to a small party my parents are throwing at our Manor on August 30_ _th_ _? I would be honoured if you would attend._

 _Hope to see you soon,_

 _James._

Lily bit her lip. They had both invited her over on the same day. She hadn't been planning to go to Severus', but now that she knew James wanted her to come over as well, she _definitely_ couldn't. That would mean choosing between them, which she wasn't ready to do.

Choosing to ignore Christine's comment about James as her boyfriend, she tucked the two letters into her bag and got back to work. However, for the rest of the day, the idea of being James Potter's girlfriend hovered at the edge of her mind, tempting her to ponder on it.

* * *

"Lily! Lily!" Christine ran into her dressing room, a look of ecstasy on her face, still with all of her makeup from the show on.

Lily put down her duster and pulled up a chair. Over the past few days, she and Christine had grown quite close in the time they spent together in the dressing room. "What happened?" she asked, leaning forward towards Christine, who had sat down opposite her.

Christine could not fail to hide her grin. "I met my tutor," she said. "I finally met him."

For months now, there had been a mysterious invisible man teaching Christine to sing. She called him the Angel of Music, sent down from Heaven by her father to watch over and teach her. Lily was slightly sceptical of it all, but she pushed those feelings aside to be supportive of her friend. "Seriously? That's brilliant! What's he like?"

Christine shrugged awkwardly. "He was very eccentric, I guess," she said. "He had long, shiny black hair and a hooked nose – but the most amazing eyes. Oh, Lily, he's so smart, and I think he really _understands_ me, you know?"

Lily was staring. As Christine described him, all Lily could think was how similar he sounded to Severus. "That's brilliant, Christine," Lily told her friend honestly.

Christine bit her lip. "He's a bit older than I am," she murmured. "Not _really_ old, but there's a bit more of a gap than would be ideal."

"Wait, you're not…you don't want to get _involved_ with him, do you?" Lily's eyes widened when Christine did not answer straight away. "Christine!"

Shrugging, Christine looked away awkwardly. "I don't know," she said quietly. "He's always been there for me, and he can be really kind."

 _That doesn't mean you would be a good couple,_ Lily thought, and again, she couldn't help but see the parallels between Christine's bond with her Angel, and her own situation with Severus. If she knew one thing, it was that Christine getting involved with this man was a bad idea. She forced herself not to think about whether it was the same for her and Severus.

* * *

"Forget about my Angel, Lily," Christine said a day or two later as she entered the dressing room after her performance in _Hannibal_. "I have found another."

Lily abandoned her cleaning immediately and begged Christine to tell her the details. Christine laughed and told her all about Viscount Raoul de Chagny, her childhood sweetheart who had been in the audience that night.

"Oh Lily, he's like a dream," Christine told her happily. " _All_ of the girls love him, but I don't mind because he's ever so focused on me. Tall and handsome and smart and kind…what more could a girl ask for?"

"What more indeed," Lily muttered to herself as an image of James flashed across her mind. She pushed it away and focused on congratulating her friend on her lovely new man. While her mouth spoke words of encouragement, however, Lily's mind drifted back to the Angel – and Severus. It was clear that what Christine felt for Raoul was much more intense than her feelings for the Phantom, and in a way it was the same for Lily. She had hated James at first, but now she felt much love for him – though whether this was platonic love or romantic, she had yet to discover. Meanwhile, her relationship with Severus had been steady. Childhood friends, morphing into teenage friends, with a dip into hatred after he called her those terrible things, but then back to friends. No passion. No love?

But surely, she thought, couldn't there be such a thing as orderly love? Not every romance had to sweep you off of your feet and leave you in a daze. Some people went through lives with a very sensible relationship where they cared just the right amount for each other, and no more. That could be her and Severus, couldn't it? Just because what she felt with James was, perhaps, much more intense, didn't make it any more perfect.

Lily's head was spinning, and she had to excuse herself to go to bed. All these talks with Christine had brought closer than ever to making a breakthrough and figuring out what she wanted. Lily felt like she was at the brink of something big. It felt like the calm before the storm; the thunder before the lightning. Not quite past the point of no return, but close.

As she closed her eyes, all she could think about was how giddy Christine looked. How in _love_ she looked. If Raoul was her James, Lily had to ask: had he ever made _her_ feel this way?

* * *

Lily was starting to think that perhaps Christine's Angel was more like a Devil. There was someone lurking in the shadows called the Phantom of the Opera, and Lily could not shake the feeling that these men were one and the same. If it really was Christine's Angel that had hanged that man in the middle of an opera, then she hoped Christine would have the good sense to stay away from now on.

Severus had never killed anyone. His friends may have acted like Death Eaters, but Severus would never go down that path…right?

But no matter how hard she tried, Lily could not silence the whispers of doubt in her head.

Maybe Severus was right to tread carefully around her. Maybe he was standing on thinner ice than either of them had realised. Maybe there are some things you can never _truly_ forgive.

* * *

"Christine, you're _insane_. He killed people! He's a _madman_. You can't honestly trust him, can you?"

Christine continued down the passageway, her eyes red from crying, waving away Lily, who was anxiously following her. "You don't understand," she cried dramatically. "I _love_ him, Lily. I don't care if it doesn't make sense, I don't care if it's dangerous. I love him."

Lily managed to grab one of Christine's hands and pulled the hysterical girl around to face her. "I understand more than you would think," she said seriously. "There is a boy at my school who I have known for a long time. He has long black hair and a hooked nose, but his eyes shine and his smile is true. We were dear friends, until he started slipping away from me. He was friends with bad people. I—I think he's done some bad things. I held on, though. I thought that I could pull him back from the edge. I thought we _loved_ each other.

"But that boy said things to me that can never be undone, and even after I thought I had forgiven him, even after I thought we were friends again, the memories of those terrible things still hang between us like a curtain."

The longer she talked, the closer Lily came to reaching her own decision. "Don't believe that someone becomes unlike themselves when they are angry. Don't believe that the things someone says or does in a fit of rage was a fluke. Anger is not an animal being released, but a mask being taken off. And once you have seen their bare face, it is impossible to cover it up again, no matter how hard you try."

Lily gently squeezed Christine's hand and smiled sadly. "He may act like an Angel with you most of the time, but once you see the scars on his face, there is no turning back. If you stay with him now, soon you will be past the point of no return, and you could end up just as disfigured as he is."

Without another word, Lily turned and walked back down the corridor, not turning to see if Christine was continuing down, or following her back. A strange sort of peace had settled over Lily, as she finally realised what she had to do.

She had not been wrong to forgive Severus. Had Lily stayed mad forever, there would never have been closure and she would have wondered forever if she had misjudged his character from that day. But Severus had almost been tiptoeing around her since they had become friends again, and Lily only now realised why. It was not in case Lily suddenly turned against him. It was to make sure he never showed his true face again.

But Lily could never be with a man who only respected and loved her when he had his mask on. If Severus was interested in her, it was not love for her as a person. It was an obsession that had been there since childhood and ran stronger than any prejudices he held.

After wearing his mask around her for so long, he had lost all sense of who he was. Severus had had twisted ideals drilled into him from his friends so much that now he was past the point of no return. He despised all those like Lily and would be glad to not have to interact with any of them. But Lily had been there since his childhood, and he clung to her familiarity as the world changed —as _he_ changed. Soon he was clutching nothing but the idea of a person, while the real Lily had become one of the people he hated.

Lily turned in her resignation that day, staying only to say goodbye to Christine before leaving France with her parents. She didn't ask who Christine had chosen – the Phantom or Raoul – and Christine didn't volunteer the information.

Lily had a feeling she knew, anyway.

* * *

It was late in the evening when Lily arrived at the Potter Manor. She walked around the side of the house into the garden, which was where she could hear music coming from.

 _I could still turn back_ , Lily though. _It's not yet past the point of no return._

James saw her immediately and ran up to her. "You came!" he cried, his eyes shining.

She smiled at the sight of the unbridled _joy_ on his face. "Of course I came," she said.

Lily had seen James, as clear as could be, and he wore no mask.

Then Lily stepped forward, put a hand up to his face and kissed him.

 _I don't want to turn back_.

* * *

 _A/N: If you haven't, I suggest you go and watch Phantom of the Opera so this makes more sense!_

 _Also, Phantom of the Opera was classified under_ books _, but this is based on the Musical/Play (and I haven't read the book). I hope that's okay!_

 _Quidditch League Fanfiction Competition, Round 12_

 _Team: Holyhead Harpies_

 _Position: Beater 1_

 _Task: Cross your story with a subcategory from your chosen genre (Genre: Plays, Subcategory: Phantom of the Opera)_

 _Prompts Used:_

 _(song) 'Glitter in the Air' by P!nk_

 _(word) honest_

 _(word) letter_

 _Word Count: 2,495_


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